I came to Co-Anon because I had nowhere else to go. I had tried doctors, therapy and the mental health services. The addict was in denial, the money was running out, their health was at the point they were a regular visitor to A&E. But the really bad bit: my health, physical and mental, were the worst they have ever been and I don't do drugs. My life was falling apart and I couldn't stop it. I went to Co-Anon looking for the answer to how to stop an addict from using. I wanted that person back from this hell hole. It was suggested to try 6 meetings, and by the 6th meeting I had found somewhere safe to talk and people that understood. They didn't tell me what to do, they shared their feelings and thoughts. Now I know it to be their experience, strength and hope. My life is so different; no more a living hell but it has balance, serenity and unconditional love.

– JOHN

I am so grateful for Co-Anon. Before finding support for myself, life was unmanageable. I was always worrying about my husband. I was worrying if he had slept enough, eaten properly, turned up to work on time, 'is he using?', 'is he lying?'. I would constantly ask him questions which would end up in confrontation as he was covering up his addiction leaving me feeling betrayed and resentful. I felt lonely and afraid; constantly worrying about the future and what might happen. After finding the support for myself I soon learnt that I was powerless over my husband’s addiction and that I needed to have some compassion for myself. One day at a time I started looking after my needs. After attending the face to face meetings and zoom meetings and receiving amazing support from people that understood my situation I finally began to grow. Today I have compassion, understanding and patience for my husband and our relationship is better than ever. There is hardly any arguments I listen rather than react. I look after myself and put my mental health first. I will be forever grateful for the kindness of the people in the Co-Anon group, without them I would have continued being lonely, frustrated and obsessively thinking about how to fix my addict.

– JO

I joined Co-Anon over 1 year into my husband's recovery from addiction to cocaine and alchohol. Because he had already found sobriety, was working his 12 step program and getting well with Cocaine Anonymous I thought I was fine. I was no longer fearful of what might happen each day. I went to a weekend CA convention with him and was bowled over by the love, support and joy people there showed for each other. A lot of these people were strangers but had one thing in common... addiction. I joined Co-Anon to see if there was something that would make me feel better than 'fine'. This group of strangers and I had one thing in common... loving an addict. It was the best decision I have ever made! I thought I was ok, my husband wasn't using so why did I need to look at myself? The 'fine' that I felt wasn't fine at all. The coping strategies that I had while my husband was using were still how I lived my life. I wasn't living, I was existing. Finding a group of people who didn't judge and were there for ME was amazing. His recovery was no longer in charge of me. I realised that I needed to find myself again. So much of my life had been about him, when he was using and when he was in recovery. I found a sponsor, worked the 12 steps and found me again. I found an amazing group of people who not only have an addicted person in common but who had been trying to deal with all that that brings in similar ways. We are all so different and yet all the same. The experience, strength and hope that these wonderful people shared with each other has opened my eyes to a much healthier way to live my life. My mental state is no longer in coping mode. I have worked through problems that I had before I even met my husband. I have found ways to deal with things and no longer put my head in the sand and say it's fine! I can talk about anything with them because judgement has no place in Co-Anon.  The things I have experienced have been experienced by others. I feel no shame, embarrassment or fear and can talk about any issue. The love and support is always there and can be felt every minute of every day. I am truly grateful to have found Co-Anon.

– SAM

I began attending Co Anon meetings in 2023 as I have a son who was and is in active addiction. At the time of joining, I was desperate and willing to try anything as all my other attempts to manage this up until this point hadn’t worked. I was riddled with shame and guilt as had decided a couple years prior to joining that I could no longer live with my son due to impact and consequences of his drug use affecting me and our home. I felt like I had failed as a mother. I experienced prolonged periods of depression and anxiety and did not feel present in my own life spending lots of time caught in obsessional thoughts and fear. My relationship with my son was in tatters and my self-worth ,esteem and confidence was on the floor. I began attending the online co anon meetings regularly, straight away I started to get identification from other members who had experienced feelings like my own it didn’t matter who the loved ones were in our lives there were similarities in the way we had been affected. more importantly I began to see and hear stories of hope and the possibility of recovery for ourselves. I began to feel a little lift in my spirits after attending meetings and less alone. In time I reached out and got myself a sponsor she gently with no pressure and no expectation of anything in return guided me through the 12 steps and helped me to understand the program sharing her experience, strength and hope with me. Never once did she advise or tell me what to do. Today my life is very different to when I joined. I have a greater understanding of the disease of addiction which in turn gives me more compassion for my son. Today I can love him right where he is. Our relationship has improved massively I can just be his mum without enabling, interfering, and trying to force solutions. I have been able to face and let go of things in the past forgiving myself for what I classed as my failings. Fear of what may happen does not consume me. I use the program in all areas of my life improving relationships with partner, friends, family, in the workplace and all my affairs. I have made some beautiful genuine friendships through co anon and feel part of something very special. Today I can use my experiences I have had with my son to help  the next person who may need it, I never thought would be possible, co anon has given me a sense of purpose back in my life. I have joy, happiness, peace and serenity in my life my depression has lifted. Today I have more confidence, I am comfortable in my own skin and am continually growing, learning and striving to be the person I wanted to be. Forever Grateful.

– DEBBIE

I found Co Anon after my loved one relapsed shortly after leaving rehab. I was at my wits' end as felt I had tried everything to get them to stop drinking. I came to meetings expecting to be told how to fix the addict for once and for all. I soon came to learn that this was an impossible responsibility I was putting on myself and that no one could help the addict, but the addict themselves. Initially I wondered what the point of attending was if I wasn't going to be told how to stop the addict from doing what they were doing but I kept coming back as found a sense of comfort in the rooms.  Meetings not only helped me to realise that I was no longer alone and that there is an army of people out there who 'get it' and understand without judgement what I was going through, but they also helped me to understand more about the disease of addiction and how I too was affected. I was very much at my rock bottom long before my loved one reached theirs. I needed to shift my focus. Through the meetings I found a sponsor and started working the steps. I thought the steps were just for the addict initially but they have helped me to completely turn my life around and change my way of thinking. They say in the meetings that changed attitudes aid recovery. My changed attitude has not only helped me but it has also helped my loved one as when I stepped back and stopped interfering in every aspect of their life, they were able to step up. 

Looking back to my life before, I felt angry, frustrated and lonely a lot of the time. Now, I know I can live a happy and fulfilling life regardless of what the addict is doing and I know what a sense of relief it gives when I keep the focus on my recovery instead of theirs.

– ASHLEY

After growing up with alcohol and codependency in the family home it was not a coincidence that I found a husband that had the same issues. I didn’t understand this at the time but my part in the family disease became clear once I started working the steps for myself. 15 years ago our lives were chaotic and I couldn’t see a way out of the destructive path we were on. I thought that I could help my husband to sobriety and if I only made the right decisions in terms of steps for him to take everything would fall into place. I didn’t understand that I needed to work on myself and detach myself from his disease. In the rooms we focus on what we can control (ourselves) and let go of what we can’t (the addict). For us, this resulted in me moving out and leaving him and he relapsed again and hit his own rock bottom and found his willingness to do what was necessary to get his life back on track. Today we both live in our own programs so that we can have our own serenity. He has been sober since 2010 and if god is willing it will continue like that so that he can be a loving and present dad to our kids. Oh, and speaking of god. God can be whatever we want it to be. For me it’s a force that holds my hand and has the best intentions for me. There will always be a “before” and “after Co-Anon, and for that I am forever grateful.

– AUDREY